On Facebook the other day my Cousin shared this photo.
This actually struck a very deep cord in my heart.
I have eluded to my daughter and her struggles many times. Her struggles with school, with social situations and people understanding her.
She is still so young and has a complete child's heart, I wish I did many times. She doesn't see her struggles yet, she doesn't understand that she can be awkward in social situations. She just sees the positive things, she just sees opportunities of making new friends and making people happy. She smiles all the time. When we drop her off at places like camp, when we pick her up the first thing the cabin leaders says is, "wow she smiles a lot and is really happy".
She knows that school sucks. She knows that Mom and Dad are trying everything we can to make it easier for her. When I explain why we are going to another doctor, or why people are gonna be sitting down with her and asking her questions for 10 hours, we tell her it is to help us figure out how to make learning easier for her.
She has a learning disability, we are trying to figure out if it stems from a disorder, or if her brain is just wired differently, or maybe she is just a cute unique quirky little girl. Or all 3. I just want an answer to all of this. We would love to skip all the waiting lists and all the places we have been turned down for help. So we are looking at her strengths, trying to enable her for the future, to deal with her difficulties.
To be completely honest, I used to quickly step in when she did something or was about to do something that wasn't normal so she wouldn't get hurt, or was it so I wouldn't be embarrassed. Now I wait till after the situation is over and quietly pull her aside and try to explain what she had done wasn't the best thing. We tell her that everyone has different things they do well, different strengths. She may not read well and do math quickly, but can the girl dance! And she ain't afraid of getting in and around huge horses to wrap their legs and and give them food.
I am watching her right now sitting outside on a blanket with her brother and a friend of hers. Laughing, giggling, squealing with delight. You couldn't see any difficulties. I hate to say it, but...the day will come. I won't always be there to explain her difficulties to everyone else. She won't always be in a class where teachers know how to deal with her and intervene when someone is mean to her.
I only hope and pray that I, as her mother, did everything I could to prepare her for life, to enable her with strength, confidence and faith. To know that on bad days...she will be okay. To know that it doesn't matter what society says is "normal", if she is finding the beauty out of her difficulties and trying her best to use the gifts she has been given, that is all that matters.
3 comments:
Your a wonderful mom!
She is lucky to have you!
Stay strong even when you know she will be hurt - she knows she has you - and she will be okay.
Melanie,
You are a great blogger because it isn't all superficial and pretty. You sometimes lay it out there and I think that takes guts.
I also think, like Flower2boys said, You are a Wonderful Mom.
It's not easy when kids aren't "normal" but really normal is just a setting on a dryer.
My brother had a fall when he was little and struggled in school (imagine ending up in the same grade for 8 years with your smart bratty little sister) and I found it embarassing. He had what now would have a name but then he was labelled slow. You know what - he is a successful rancher, he is the president of the agricultural society in my home town and a loving andn caring son and brother. His early struggles left him with a temper that flares when he is frustrated (but some of htat is inherited from my dad) but you would never know he struggled so much in school and quit in grade 8 (the day he turned 16). I'm sure that my mother struggled with him but I don't remember that aspect of it but i know that she loves him dearly.
So make sure she knows you love her, help her when she needs it but let her be a happy dancing girl with a big heart. Make sure you encourage her to "pack her good judgement" about her actions and trust in yourself, Trevor and the Lord that she will turn out as intended.
Bernie
Mel, your love for your daughter is so evident. I could share similar stories relating to my step-son . . . may you be encouraged today. Stay strong and embrace the unique qualities of your daughter. I love what the previous comment stated--it was a good reminder for me that success is not defined by academics, or even social skills. Your daughter has much to offer the world and God will use her:)
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