Healthy Self-Esteem Day

On friday I declared it "Healthy Self-esteem day" on Facebook. I think I might do that every friday. As a teenager, I had a fairly good self-esteem. I wore what I wanted, I had my interests. Yeah, I felt hurt by stuff that was said to me. I think I was the most insecure when I was a newlywed. I cared too much what everyone else thought of me. Then going through fertility issues, I went even lower. Then when we had kids you kind of get the "what in the world am I doing as a parent" feeling. Now my kids are both in school. I think I have kind of hit my stride. I am more mature in my thinking, more secure in whom I listen to and try to put the earmuffs on when negativity tries to rear it's ugly head.

Now that being said, there are things about me that I sooooo wish I could change. I talk too much. Plain and simple. Someone once told me," if you are not part of the problem or the solution, you don't need to be talking about it." I try really hard to follow those words. I fail. Sometimes miserably. People don't like people with a loose tongue. You can't take back words, you can apologize for them but like the internet as soon as you press send, it's gone and done. I often analyze every word I said in a conversation and beat myself down really hard afterwards. I have made some phone calls to apologize for words I have said, others have done the same to me. Your words should be uplifting. I don't think of myself as a complainer or totally negative person, yes I have my moments, but for the most part I like to look at the glass as half full( like I said I get my moments in life, we all do).

I was at a craft retreat this weekend. I sat looking around at all the different people there. There were painters, quilters, people sewing, scrapbookers and card makers. I looked a little more closely and saw different personalities as well. There were quiet people,storytellers, people with really infectious laughs, night-owls, early risers( not me on this one) and the list could go on. I realized it takes everyone of those personalities to even out this world. Imagine if we were all talkers, yikes! No one would get anything done. What if everyone were quiet listeners, nothing would get done too.

Now I know I was one of the talkers this weekend, I know I said some things that were not uplifting. All the way home I scolded myself. So I do apologize. I know I am not perfect, I will stumble at times. I am human. The talking is part of my personality. God made each of us so different for a reason. Each and every person is needed in this world. Every single person is needed.

I read the blog of a friend recently and she talked about a girl who died of hopelessness, someone who had taken her own life. I hurt every time I hear a story like this. It was the way she worded it, dying of hopelessness. Too many people feel hopeless , unloved, unwanted, unneeded. I want to shout it from the mountain tops that you are loved. You are wonderfully and beautifully made. You have a purpose in this world. You may never see it or understand your place. But you are so needed.

I see and hear so many girls trying to desperately be noticed, be appreciated. So much that they look for validation in all the wrong places and from the wrong people. I want to just hug them and tell them how much they are loved. Their value is more than the ground they walk on, more than the shoes they wear.

Okay, I know, this turned into a bit of a rant. But it just hurts me when people feel they are not loved. I know that words can very quickly tear a person down. I try very hard to not be that person. God made us in his image, I think that is pretty awesome!