Memories

Look at the Lady second from the left

By the way I am the infant in the blanket and my sister Tara is in the orange

Notice the lady on the right?

Now look at the lady second from the left

That is my Aunt Adina

I went to visit my Aunt Adina the other day. Here is a little bit about my Aunt. She has a real awesome sense of humour. She loves family. She makes a great Borscht soup. She loves her coffee. She is hard working woman. She is a giving person, of her time , talents and gifts. She is an animal lover. She is a little jokester.

Sadly now she can not do some of the things any more that I listed above. But that is how I know her. She does still have the little jokester in her.

She is 95 and is in a care home now. I admit I do not get to see her as much as I want to. I was wondering all the way there if she would remember me and the kids. When we got there, I had to say who I was and then she said , " of course you are Melanie". We took her to her room, I find I get a little bit more quality time with her that way, she seems a bit more focused.

We also brought her a blanket from her house and I wanted to see if she remembered it the way I did.

Sadly she said she did not recognize it. She questioned me a few times on it. But she loved the flowers on it. I laid it on her chair and I saw her gazing at it a lot while we were there. When I go to visit I am never quite sure what she is going to say, and remember. I understand that is part of dementia. But some things are still hard. When we first arrived she said to me , "Louise is here", that is her sister who died just over a year ago. I don't always know what to say when this comes up. I just said that Louise is in Heaven. I wasn't sure how she would respond. She looked kind of shocked for 1 second and then said, yes she is. The same conversations would come around every 5 minutes. She would often ask me the same things. But she did know that my parents are in Texas, and that we are building a house in the bush by the road, I was really impressed by this. She would ask what I was doing in the city, I would answer that I came to visit her and then would get groceries. She likes that comment, because she always asks where I get my groceries. I usually answer Superstore and then she says I should go to Costco, I smile and say that's a great idea I will go.

I often watched a show called " Clean Sweep" on TLC. People who would hang on to everything. Worried that if they gave stuff away they were throwing away memories. But you can't throw away memories. You may forget some details as you grow older, but your memories are always yours.

On the show they would suggest to take pictures of things you were sentimental about. Put them in an album. The reason was because, it is easier to pull out an album then haul out a box from way back in the closet. I really like this idea.

I am thankful for the memories I have of Adina. The ones of living on the same farm yard with her. Watching her take care of the animals on the farm, working in the garden, and cooking great meals. I am thankful for memories that can not be taken from me, something that can't fall off a shelf and be broken, something that just sits in a box and gets forgotten about.

I also think it is important to purposely go out and make memories. My kids are getting to the age now where they are remembering things. Memories are remaining . They are starting to recall things we have done, places we have been or lived.

This is our little girl dancing for Adina. My aunt and her have a special bond. She holds her hand, puts her hand on her arm and freely gives her hugs and kisses when we are leaving.