Recently I have been attending a ladies morning group and we have been discussing fears. After pondering this topic, I realize how many small little fears I have. They do not steer my daily habits, but mostly come up when you go to bed at night. For me they come up more when my husband is gone for a buisiness trip. Little things like, if there is a fire in the house how do I get both kids out safely, which do I go for first, will I be strong enough to break the window if I have to, will any neighbours be home to help me. Other fears are: what happens when you leave your van and house keys in your husband's truck which is parked at the airport and have no way to get to the hospital in the middle of the night, did I say something that offended someone today, how many times did I put my foot in my mouth, was I as encouraging as I could have been, how will I handle my Son going to Kindergarten, how will I handle my kids going to get their drivers's liscence, and them driving to the city for the first time with friends. And then there is the big one's like what happens if my husband dies-how dare he do that to me, who will my kids marry-will they marry , am I raising kids that will be responsible, caring, people that will contribute positivly to society.
I have to catch myself because I will lose a whole night sleep due to these things and then do not function as well as I could be the next day. My husband tells me to just not think about it, easier said than done. It seems those are the times that I find myself praying the most, when I know I should be praying about all these things regularly. Is this selfish praying? I mean its all about me and my thoughts wondering. Then I realize that it is not really my thoughts that I am thinking but those of Satan, he doesn't actually know what I am thinking, but is is Satan that is planting those thoughts and then human nature kicks in and carries the thoughts to concern, then to fears, then to crippling your daily life because you are living in fear. The well known verse came up today at the ladies group," Trust in the Lord in all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknoweldge Him and He will make your paths straight."Proverbs 3:5,6. I know I can put everything on the Lord,but I still don't forget everything in my mind. I guess that is where I maybe need more faith and where we as humans just can't give up total control to God. It is something that is a daily battle for me, giving God ALL the control in my life and just knowing that He has my better interest at heart.
Anyways, I hope you all have a great day .
Melanie
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